


Always Have

by LugianBeforeSwine



Series: aged-up akiyama [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M, btw tadashi is 22 in this, it's alternate continuity set when he's in college, please forgive any mistakes it is 9am and i haven't slept in 26 hours, this is my life these are my choices
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-04
Updated: 2015-03-04
Packaged: 2018-03-16 07:52:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3480263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LugianBeforeSwine/pseuds/LugianBeforeSwine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It doesn’t occur to Tadashi until he’s standing outside his apartment door, fishing around in his backpack for his keys, that he’s nervous about going out to dinner with Akiteru, and he knows the exact reason why.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Always Have

Tadashi is sitting in a bustling coffee shop a few blocks off campus, nearing the end of an essay that’s due on Monday. With his noise-cancelling headphones on, all he can hear is the instrumental music playing on his laptop. He’s unconsciously tapping out a beat with his foot against the tile floor, and an empty coffee cup sits by his computer.

He likes this café. A few of the employees know him, have even made him custom drinks when there aren’t so many people around. He’s been frequenting it since he stumbled upon it at the beginning of his freshman year. He had been exploring the campus when he’d taken a wrong turn, which eventually led to his discovery of the café.

He’s writing the first sentence of his conclusion when he feels a hand on his shoulder. He jumps a little and looks up, surprised to see someone familiar looking back at him.

His hand comes up to slide his headphones off his head and around his neck. “Akiteru?” he breathes. Part of him fears he might be mistaken.

“Tadashi! What a surprise to see you here!”

Apparently he was not mistaken. “What are you doing here?” he asks, and then his fingers come up to settle over his mouth. “Sorry,” he says, “that was rude.”

Akiteru just laughs. “Not at all. I have a meeting in an office building around the corner, and figured I’d stop in somewhere for a coffee beforehand.”

“Oh,” Tadashi says. He honestly can’t think of much else to say. He hasn’t seen Akiteru in years—not since he and Kei had graduated from high school.

Well. There was that.

“Do you mind if I sit with you?” Akiteru asks, snapping Tadashi’s thoughts back to the present. “I still have another half hour before I have to leave for the meeting.”

“I don’t mind!” Tadashi says quickly.

Akiteru smiles at him, wide and genuine. “Great! I’ll just go order my coffee, then I’ll be right back.”

Tadashi nods and watches Akiteru smile at the barista behind the counter. He used to think about that smile a lot, when he was younger. Akiteru was always so kind to him, so friendly and cheerful. And even though Tadashi knows now that he was really hurting all that time, it doesn’t change the fact that Akiteru was never anything but good to him.

“So,” Akiteru says, sliding into the chair opposite Tadashi, coffee cup in hand, “how’ve you been? Haven’t heard much about you from Kei lately.”

“Ahh, Tadashi says, not quite sure how to approach this topic, “we, uhh, don’t really talk very much anymore.” He fidgets a little in his seat, and closes his laptop to give his hands something to do.

“I see,” Akiteru says after a moment’s pause. “Did something happen between you two? If you don’t mind me asking, of course.”

“No, no,” Tadashi says quickly, “it’s fine. Umm, nothing really happened. We just sort of drifted apart after going to different universities. There’s no hard feelings or anything. At least, not on my end—not that I suspect there are on his end—Tsukki isn’t mean or—”

Akiteru’s laughter cuts him off. “I’m sure he’s not upset with you either. I guess he’s just busy—according to Mom, he hardly ever comes home.” Akiteru’s gaze flicks away for a second, and Tadashi has the sudden urge to reach out to him. But then he sips his coffee and turns back to Tadashi, looking noticeably more cheerful. “Anyway, I’m really glad to see you. It’s been a long time.”

Tadashi smiles a little. Something about Akiteru’s smile is infectious. It always has been. “Yeah,” he says, “I’m glad to see you too.”

They spend the rest of the time before Akiteru’s meeting discussing his job, Tadashi’s classes, and his plans for after graduation. Tadashi accompanies Akiteru to the office building where his meeting is being held, and just as they get up to the doors, Akiteru asks, “So, do you have a girlfriend?”

Tadashi starts a little at the sudden question, but then shakes his head. “No, I don’t.”

“Ahh,” Akiteru says, and then, “do you still have my phone number?”

“Umm,” Tadashi says, “I think so.”

“Do you wanna get dinner tomorrow? I’m staying at a hotel close by, so I’ll be around.”

“Oh,” Tadashi says. “Yeah, that would be nice.”

“Great! Call me when you’re free. I’ll just be doing paperwork in the hotel all day.”

“Okay. Then I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Yup, seeya!” And then Akiteru disappears inside the building.

It doesn’t occur to Tadashi until he’s standing outside his apartment door, fishing around in his backpack for his keys, that he’s nervous about going out to dinner with Akiteru, and he knows the exact reason why.

-

“What do you do when you have a crush on your ex-best friend’s older brother, and you kind of have for pretty much your entire life,” he types into Google later that night, then promptly backspaces over the whole thing and sighs, setting his phone down on the floor beside his bed.

At least he knew. At least he knew that in some way, he had always had feelings for Akiteru, although once he realized them for what they were, he had tried his best to tamp them down. It was wrong; Akiteru was much older and would have no interest in him anyway. But now, Tadashi was 22, and their age difference didn’t matter so much anymore. A relationship between them would be unconventional, sure, but it would no longer be wrong.

Tadashi rolls over in his bed, resigning himself to a night of little sleep.

-

The following evening, Akiteru strolls into the restaurant they had agreed to meet at, and Tadashi intercepts him at the door before he can reach the hostess.

“Oh!” Akiteru says, “hey! You didn’t have to wait for me up here.” Akiteru is wearing a white button-up with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows and Tadashi kind of wants to scream.

“Well,” he says instead, “I just thought it would be polite to wait until you got here.”

“How very kind,” Akiteru says, smiling good-naturedly at him. “Should we get a table?”

“Oh, yeah,” Tadashi says hurriedly.

-

The food is excellent, and they keep up a conversation the whole way throughout dinner. Akiteru asks Tadashi about his club volleyball team, and Tadashi asks about the places Akiteru’s been on business trips. By the end of their meal, it’s apparent that neither one of them really wants to part ways, which prompts Tadashi to make a rather nerve-wracking request.

“Umm…if you’re not busy tonight…would you wanna come to my apartment?” Akiteru looks a little shocked, so Tadashi barrels on. “It’s not much, you know, it’s just a little place, I just thought—well—you don’t have to, you probably have work to do—”

“Tadashi,” Akiteru cuts him off, and something about the way Akiteru says his name then makes a shiver run up his spine. “I’m not busy, and I’d love to see your apartment.” He looks less shocked now and more pleased. Tadashi can’t decide whether that’s a good thing or not.

“Right,” he says. “Okay. Are you ready to go?”

“Yup!” Akiteru says happily, standing up and gesturing Tadashi ahead of him. “Lead the way!”

The walk to Tadashi’s apartment complex has never seemed so short. Akiteru chatters a bit as they walk, seeming totally at ease. Before he knows it, Tadashi is standing outside his apartment door, hands shaking as he searches his pocket for his key, and next to him, Akiteru has gone silent.

It only takes a few seconds before he puts a hand on Tadashi’s shoulder and asks, “Is everything okay?”

Apparently Tadashi is shaking worse than he had thought. “Yeah,” he says, finally locating his key. “Yeah. Everything’s fine.”

When he reaches up to put the key in the lock, Akiteru’s hand moves from his shoulder to rest on top of his own. Tadashi sucks in a breath at the sudden touch.

“Hey,” Akiteru says softly. “I don’t have to come in. I can walk back to the hotel from here.”

“No,” Tadashi says, rotating the key and dislodging Akiteru’s hand. “I want you to be here.” He pushes the door open, gathers his courage, and turns to face Akiteru. “And,” he says quietly, swallowing audibly, “I think you know why.”

Akiteru looks stunned for a second, like Tadashi has just said something wholly unbelievable, and then his expression smoothes out into a slightly lopsided smile. “I can guess,” he says, and follows Tadashi inside, shutting and locking the door behind him.

They’re not two steps into the apartment before Akiteru is wrapping his arms around Tadashi from behind. He doesn’t say anything for a few seconds, just listens (and feels) Tadashi breathing; hears his own heart beating rapidly. He lets out a long exhale, dropping his head onto Tadashi’s shoulder. “Am I wrong?” he asks in a low voice.

Tadashi shivers before turning around in his arms. His face is red, but his mouth is set in a hard line. He looks determined, kind of like he does right before he executes a serve in a volleyball match. Akiteru almost wants to laugh, fondly of course, but any sound that might have been traveling up his throat stops abruptly when Tadashi’s hand comes up to touch his cheek. “No,” he says, “you’re not wrong.”

Tadashi kisses like he’s had a lot of experience, which really shouldn’t surprise Akiteru as much as it does. He’s a college senior; he’s had plenty of time to learn. And he’s also had plenty of time to push Akiteru away if this wasn’t what he really wanted. So Akiteru opens up to him: opens his mouth to lick across Tadashi’s lips; opens his hands to rest against Tadashi’s lower back, fingers absently tracing patterns there.

They’re both breathless when they pull away, still close enough to rest their foreheads together. Tadashi has one hand in Akiteru’s hair; the other is gripping his shirt, the fabric bunched up in his fist.

“Well,” Akiteru says, smiling shamelessly, hands slowly moving up and down Tadashi’s back, “I honestly did not expect that to happen today.”

Tadashi laughs, a little embarrassed. “Did you expect it to happen ever?”

“Can’t say I did.”

Tadashi pulls away a little, gaze flitting down to the floor. “If this is too weird, you don’t—”

“Who said it was weird?” Akiteru asks. He sounds genuinely concerned. Tadashi looks up at him again and kind of wishes he hadn’t. Akiteru looks so sincere. “I like you, Tadashi. Do you like me?”

Of course I do, Tadashi thinks. I always have. “Yes. I like you.”

Akiteru beams and pulls Tadashi back into a hug. “Then it’s fine, right?”

“Yeah,” Tadashi says against Akiteru’s shoulder. “It’s fine.”

**Author's Note:**

> [muffled sounds of Kei screaming in the distance]
> 
> I would call this my guilty pleasure pairing but I actually don’t feel guilty at all, so. That’s that.
> 
> Talk rarepairs (or anything) with me at deadpan-snarker.tumblr.com, if you so desire.


End file.
